have you ever had red velvet cake?it's matt's fav. last week, our friend linda came over and schooled us in her wicked red velvet cupcake making ways, a la a paula deen recipe. i decided the cupcake version is even better- a higher frosting to cake ratio. yummy + pretty- what more could you ask for?
our cute taste tester. despite her ear infections she seemed to be able to lick the spoon.
m gives the batter a thumbs up
i can't lie- maybe we sampled the frosting too.
linda bears with our hot kitchen and frosts up the cupcakes
{love the raspberries!}
{sprinkles aren't bad either, and are in honor of little m}
hard working bakers, post frost fest
note m's matching cupcake shirt. don't get that impressed- i'm not usually that awesome as a mom. some days you just luck out!
my cousin in law rose (i can never quite figure out all of those cousin terms) sent us a lovely package this week, little wonderfuls & thoughtfuls wrapped gently in tissue paper.
rose passed along a beautiful handknit sweater that my aunt fern emma had made for her daughter quinn, thinking it would work well for little m. it is the most perfect shade of red, with at least ten buttons that remind me of red hot candies. right away monrovia asked to try it on, and then (despite the very warm day) wanted to wear it until matt came home.
isn't it lovely? both rose & fern emma are amazing knitters. (i love sweet moments that happen from miles apart)
life tumbles along, and i feel a bit discombobulated. yesterday at little m's summer school, my friend told me she felt like life hadn't stopped for the last three years and all of a sudden it had caught up and was overwhelming. it's like that sometimes when we finally have chance to catch our breath. i'm sitting in the midst of busyness at a peet's coffee, headphones on to push out the rest of the world. i have two hours to work on freelance this morning and again this afternoon and so i am stealing a few of those minutes this morning to pause in this space that i write.
i spotted this link to the simple woman's daybook at deliajude, and loved the format. (lists are the best. if only i could writes lists like this more often- it would be a good way to glance back at my days and weeks and months. then again, i blog...!)
FOR TODAY Outside my window...cars, buses, passersby, sunshine, hectic life is rushing by. I am thinking....that i miss making big oil paintings + sitting in my studio. I am thankful for....sharing good food with new friends on a warm summer evening. From the kitchen...barley salad, onion tart, grapefruit granita, iced coffee. I am wearing...black long sleeve shirt (with reminders of art making on the sleeves), cozy cropped pants, flip flops. I am creating... memories with my daughters, potential cards for papyrus, space for art. I am going...to remind myself that my expectations for "accomplishing" each day are unrealistically high. I am reading..."The Vagrants"(a bit behind schedule for my book club that met last week) I am hoping...to live with grace, patience & wisdom today. I am hearing...Mumford & Sons (thanks Jair)-music that swallows me up & heals me somehow. Around the house...ants invading in little black lines, little m building "towers" from blocks, my empty water glasses. One of my favorite things...getting packages or notes in the mail. A few plans for the rest of the week: taking the girls to summer school, visiting with my aunt & cousin from far away, picking plums, baking brownies, dance parties with little m, many hours of nursing.
these two munchkins have kept my hands full the last few weeks.
here's the thing: i am just trying to figure it all out right now - the balancing act of being a good wife, mom, friend, artist, freelancer, homeowner in addition to having time set aside that is good for my soul, time to exercise, time to rest. it feels a bit overwhelming to be honest.
but in the midst of this crash course in parenting two instead of just one, i am savoring the little moments that make up our days.
i like being a mom.
i like figuring it all out, even though i don't feel too great at juggling it all quite yet (most likely i never will feel like i've perfected it,) i am reminding myself that {nursing diapers spit up on all of my clothes a toddler who just wants to climb on me and talk to me and play with me an infant who is helpless without me washing little bowls & little spoons exhausting trips to the park, the library, the store treks to school in & out of carseats whining for snacks little voices, newborn cries bathtime the neverending cleaning up toys and books loads of laundry full of little clothes answering questions over & over last minute appointments at the pediatrician late nights rocking my little one who can't sleep} this is such a brief and special season.
my friend hannah has this quote on her blog:
Because how we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives. -Annie Dillard
so true. and so i am soaking up these busy, messy, tiring days... enjoying the sound of my daughter's laughter filling the house... recognizing that time passes so quickly and the things that i usually worry about the most matter the least
work, cleaning, organizing, projects, to do lists will all be right where i left them. tomorrow.
i make fun of him all the time for it, because he has had it for 6 years and it is (literally) falling apart.
as in, every time it happens to drop 2 inches it breaks into multiple pieces.
as in, the keys have been worn down so much that there are no numbers or letters on any of the buttons.
i hate using his phone because the buttons are kind of janky and it is hard to push them so they'll actually work.
but still, he refuses to upgrade. it may seem silly or stubborn when he could walk into a verizon store and walk out with a "free" phone, but the reason he refuses is because each one of our little cell phones (as well as our laptops, etc etc) contain minerals and metals that are likely from war torn congo. we get new gadgets that we like for about 5 seconds, and our gadgets help fuel their bloody conflict. so he is waiting for a phone that is certified conflict-free. i don't think one exists yet.
it seems pretty ridiculous that as consumers our voices could impact a deadly conflict that has claimed so many lives. obviously this would not erase the issues in the congo, but it could drastically reduce the funds that contribute to this ongoing bloodshed. it is pretty sobering to me to see the huge long lines for new iphones and realize the connection our hunger for new technology inadvertently has on human beings lives.
read this great article or watch this video for more information:
(unrelated to anything in this post but just cute of my mom and ruby. reminds me of this picture of m when she was a newborn napping on matt)
i have multiple longer, more meaningful posts on my mind, but i am tired. i need to sleep. and i am just so behind in everything in life these days, although i did pay all the bills yesterday (i know, this is a gripping post, isn't it.)
i still haven't figured out the whole get everything done with two kids thing. maybe i need to let go of the getting everything done. but how about getting ANYTHING done? is that too much to ask?
and also, suddenly ants invaded our house. i hate ants.
{finally, happy anniversary to the ogdens & juliens! happy 8th and 36th respectively!}
extra final note, this friday july 2nd is my mom's birthday. so if you know her and you want to shower her with lovin', you should. because she deserves it.
super extra final note: i am telling you, these ants are everywhere. an ant is crawling on my leg! i hate these silly ants!!!!
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
thinking about this quote today...
"the deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain" kahlil gibran
in between little ones' naps + nursing i am working on some new card ideas. i am realizing that 2 kids + a deadline is a lot harder to pull off.
i do a lot of this.
sitting + thinking. drawing a blank. waiting for brilliance. inspiration comes from putting in a lot of time getting very little accomplished, but putting in the time nonetheless. then all of a sudden all of those days of nothing come together in a few hours of creating something that really works. (or at least so i hope)
queen's anne's lace (which always reminds me of childhood summer vacations to peaks island, maine- where it flourishes- and evening family walks around the island where we kids would collect cans and bottles to recycle for money so that we could buy atomic fire balls and lemonheads at the island grocery store)finally getting to bake after months of packing, moving, unpacking, and giving birth. (oh how i love to put ingredients together to make something new and delicious)
dishes, i don't love you so much.
little m seems to know the words "chocolate chips." she saw this dough and declared, "chocolate chip cookies, mommy?"
grandma prinz and little m went adventuring and collected leaves and flowers
as father's day approaches this sunday, just wondering what special father's day traditions you have in your house- either now or when you were growing up? i'd love to expand on our ways to celebrate in our household!
when it comes to u2, my friend nancy says i am a superfan. (as my pal hannah would say- no judgey judgey. i know there are far cooler musicians to etch onto your heart, but i don't care. i love them.) i don't know about the term SUPERfan- i don't have a personalized U2 license plate, or a joshua tree tattoo. i don't wear old tour t-shirts or fly to ireland to watch their concert at slane castle or save money just to fly to half of the shows on their tour. (ah, which may sound crazy but plenty of U2 superfans do...)
but, she has at least a partial point:
i have been listening to u2 since i was about 10.
the first tape i bought was a U2 tape.
i did write an english essay my freshman year of high school based on the official biography of these four musicians.
i have been to every concert U2 has played in the bay area since 1991.
i used to camp out all night in line to buy tickets outside of the music store. and yes, for the past few tours i have waited in the general admission line (for more details on that check out this post) for over 24 hours (with all of the other superfans)
you may remember, i did drive to arizona with my brothers this fall to hear them in concert.
i can tell you most trivia facts about the band members. like, if you want to know bono's birthday, or how they became a band, or the edge's daughter's name? embarrassingly enough, i'm your girl.
and just maybe, i am convinced that at some point in my life, i will have my own personal concert with my friends bono, the edge, adam clayton & larry mullen jr. i'm not kidding. (i even know where the personal concert will be held. if you're lucky, i'll invite you.)
so it didn't seem that crazy to me when last fall, about a week after i'd driven to arizona to see U2 in concert, i bought general admission tickets for the newly announced oakland show. even though my due date for ruby was 3 weeks before the concert date. even though general admission tickets involve getting to the venue at an ungodly time- preferably at least 24 hours ahead of time to wait, and then once the venue is opened up, making a mad rush to get as close to the stage as possible without being stampeded, then waiting for a few more hours smashed in with hundreds of other superfans (no bathroom breaks, no moving from your spot.) i couldn't for the life of me figure out how i could work out nursing a 3 week old, sprinting across an entire stadium to mark my territory and then waiting without needing to head to the bathroom (trust me. those last two items on the list seem impossible mere weeks after birthing a baby. let's just say i'm still healing.)
so. i tried to work out a plan involving friends passing ruby off to me in line, making friends with security guards, pumping milk while i waited for the concert with 200 of my closest friends. um, all totally ridiculous attempts that would no way work.
and then,
bono proved to me that he is my pal.
the concert, which was supposed to be tonight, in oakland....is postponed until 2011. much to the distress of many U2 fans, and to my sheer delight...bono jacked up his back a few weeks ago. so. he had emergency back surgery and physical therapy and rest (sorry about that bono) and as a result, this entire leg of the tour is postponed. which means, i can go next year without going to extreme measures. and just maybe, this will be the time i'm pulled up on stage to sing along & dance with bono. (i should clarify that i don't really have the need to dance with bono, it would just be the vehicle to have a conversation with him about how he is going to buy some of my paintings or send me to africa to work on some worthy project. i would way rather dance with my husband.)
one of the lyrics i repeated to myself while i was in labor was "always pain before the child is born" from the song yahweh. it kind of comforted me through contractions and pushing. serious. so, thanks to bono's back issues, i get to go to the concert next year. for now, i'm content to watch clips of them live.
i usually don't post videos on here, but i couldn't resist posting little m's debut singing at her end of the year school talent show.
two years ago, when m was three months old, we visited the graduation/talent show festivities at her school for the deaf for the first time. i remember holding her teeny little body in my arms as we toured the school that morning. we didn't know what to expect. we peeked into classrooms and interacted with children wearing cochlear implants and hearing aids. i remember a little girl named mia walked up to us and said, "is your baby deaf?" as if it was the most normal thing in the world. no one had ever assumed our baby was deaf before. mia was deaf, had two cochlear implants, and was talking and listening to us. then we went to the talent show; deaf kids singing, playing the drums, talking. it was amazing.
and now, our daughter is one of those kids who is learning to listen and talk. she got up in front of all of the teachers, kids and parents and performed. i'm so proud of her. at first, i sang a song she likes from school, "stepping in and stepping out." suddenly doing the motions isn't quite enough for her, so she motions to me that she wants to sing itsy bitsy spider, grabs the microphone, and proceeds to sing her very own rendition of twinkle twinkle little star. (she is kind of quiet so you may want to turn your volume up)
matt and i both got teary as she sang the first two lines of twinkle twinkle over and over. the past two years have been so much work, so much energy, so many emotions and as she stood on that stage it all seemed like a miracle.
little m hasn't quite mastered singing happy birthday. instead the variation she sings goes, "happy to you (fill in birthday girl or boy's name).."
she could sing happy to you to two very special friends of mine who celebrated another year of amazingness this week: kendra and hannah.
{hannah and her daughter vivian}
hannah and i have been friends for over a year now. our girls go to school together and little m and vivian constantly amaze us with their tenacity and spunk! hannah has taught me so much about perspective, kindness, and creativity. i love watching her as a mom - she is patient, silly, adventurous, persistent and a champion of her daughter. she comes up with super fun ways to spend her days with vivian, and reminds me to savor every moment of being a mommy. she has been such an encouragement and gift to me this last year & today i celebrate her inner and outer beauty, her resilience, her great style, her grace & authenticity, and her ability to love well. she may not teach in the classroom full time anymore, but she teaches me so much just by being herself. happy to you, sweet friend. i am so grateful for you (and your gift of a daughter. i love her snuggly, lovey, feisty self.)
{kendra with baby ruby}
i've known kendra for over 10 years now! (wow, crazy.) she, too, has taught me about being a good mom from her very first days of mothering twins. she is one of those people who makes parenting look effortless (even when she had TWO newborns!) she laughs so much with her kids, and she takes them on marvelous adventures just because. she is another mom who teaches me so much about how to love kids just by being herself. she made me want to be a mom by the ways she kept her identity but still rocked mom-hood with humor & creativity & sassiness. kendra is extremely thoughtful in big and little ways. i kid you not, she is even my personal shopper- calling me when she spots something that she thinks i'd like and picking it up for me. (i have a cute new pair of black flats thanks to her keen & bargain hunting eye!) she puts up with my tendency to text instead of call, and is ever so gracious to me. have you ever seen supercute jewelry on me? kendra probably made it. i'm so glad you are my friend and have been through many seasons of life (joyous and difficult.) you love deeply and you love well.
happy to you- two women who have made my life richer.
considering the fact that we moved in to our new house on may 9th and baby ruby was born may 24th, we haven't exactly made our house into a home...(yet)
the garage and downstairs laundry room and extra room are disaster zones with tons of unpacked boxes, we haven't hung much of anything on the walls (except for one single paintings in the entire house), and the list of initial to-do's is more than a page long.
my dear friend daphne, who lives far away in michigan keeps asking for updated photos, so as i can i'll post some.
here is the before of our livingroom....
and then the current state(i won't say "after" quite yet since it is a work in progress...):
for those of you that have been friends with me for a long time but you are not an artist, you've heard (but not experienced) the art critiques i have been in for ages....all throughout undergrad and graduate school.
critiques are essentially what you may have seen on a show like project runway or top chef but with art instead of fashion or food: you make a piece of art, and then everyone in your crit- peers and professor- have the opportunity to pick apart what you have made. in my graduate program, i could expect that the critique around one of my paintings could last at least an hour, if not more. that means you, and your art, on the hot seat the whole time- fielding questions, listening to other people pick you apart, speaking in artspeak and defending your work.
some crits are a royal waste of time, others are brutal to one's ego or self esteem, and others are a valuable part of the artistic process. i will admit that i have been reduced to tears in a critique. crits are not for the faint of heart - you are getting reamed in front of friends and rivals. even the art stars in my midst experienced getting raked over the coals at least once, so in some ways it levels everyone, talented or not so much.
one reason i've always liked shows that are like project runway and top chef is that they remind me so much of being in a fine arts program. i can go through people that were in my graduate program and tell you who should be starring in an art reality program-from fellow artists to professors- since many art makers are larger than life, and well, quirky (and often full of themselves.) in fact, i remember sitting with friends & casting an imaginary art reality show with people from my master's program just a few years ago...
FINALLY my dream is coming true: an art reality show is beginning on bravo tonight, produced by sarah jessica parker. yay yay yay- i can't wait for the snarkiness, creating, and critiquing to begin!!! bring on the backstabbing (because let me tell you, there is a whole lot of that in the art world!)
it's matt's fav.
it's matt's fav.
our cute taste tester.
m gives the batter a thumbs up
i can't lie- maybe we sampled the frosting too.
linda bears with our hot kitchen and frosts up the cupcakes
{love the raspberries!}
{sprinkles aren't bad either, and are in honor of little m}
hard working bakers, post frost fest
