why it matters

this month i've been driving our girls down to redwood city for summer camp at the oral deaf school where m went from when she was 7 months old until she headed to mainstream preschool at 4.

it's a schlep of course, but so worth it. worth it for her to connect with her friends with hearing loss, worth it for ruby to be around lots of kids who are like her sister, worth it for m to see littler kiddos with hearing loss who are learning to listen and speak.

i love little moments we've had this month:

morning music every morning

which takes me back to when m was tiny, barely talking, and would come to music

the play after camp is over. the kids play for at least an hour, and i love this free time for them to be with each other and build, create, problem solve, resolve conflict, laugh, and be crazy silly.

the safety and comfort that comes with being with kids that m has known since she was a baby, and ruby since she was born. it fills my heart. i wish our kids lived closer, but they also have each other as a home base, and that is a gift.

why it matters? as in why i don't mind the drive, and the time, and the expense:

monrovia has loved getting to see adults with implants, since two of the parents have implants this summer. and she always loves being around other people with hearing loss. she asked me one day this month why there couldn't be more kids at her school with implants like her. i want her to stay connected to her friends who also navigate the hearing world, but are also a little "different" from their typical hearing peers, like her.

this week on the drive down ruby asked, "why does monrovia need to wear implants?" i was a little taken aback- after all, every single day in the morning we say, "monrovia can't hear you; she doesn't have her implants on yet." and m talks about being deaf all the time. but i realized ruby needed me to connect the dots more for her, so i explained the hearing test that newborn babies take, and how monrovia didn't pass hers, and how we found out that she was deaf and that meant she can't hear anything. at the end of explaining it all, i asked her if she ever wished she had implants too. she said, "yes, and mine would be yellow with sunflowers."

it matters because monrovia is deaf, and always will be. it matters because matt and i am not, and yet i want to give her soft places to land, as many opportunities for connection with other kids who have hearing loss too, and as many times as possible for ruby to understand the world monrovia lives in.

um, plus? i've gotten three hours to myself every monday, wednesday, and friday, and i won't lie: it's been awesome.