hurry up, slow down

it's funny, isn't it, how we compete with each other for how busy we are?

how we are trying to get more and more done? pack as much work as we can into a week? how rarely we sit still with nothing on the to do list? it's as if it's a moral failing to merely enjoy a day of rest.

i feel like i am constantly behind, and if i am accomplishing nothing than somehow i am failing.

ridiculous.

when i was growing up, sundays were sacred spaces. the sabbath. that meant church in the morning, home for lunch- maybe with friends from church over, naps, and for most of my childhood, no tv, restaurants or homework. that shifted slightly as i got older, but for many years there were strict boundaries on what sundays looked like.

yesterday was a pretty perfect day and in terms of accomplishing things? i got nothing done. in the late afternoon matt and the girls and i went to the college campus that's about a mile from our house.
the girls rode bikes with matt trailing them, and i walked four miles. (remember? i somehow signed myself up for a race even though i don't run, so sundays are the light days in my training when i just walk.) living in the middle of a city it's kind of nice to escape to places like this, especially when they are so close to our house:

i walked for about an hour, and thought about how content i was. i could smell all of the trees in bloom, the sky was bright blue, my children were racing around on their bikes, my love was happily chasing after them and scooping them up after every tumble, my body was strong and healthy, i could hear the birds chirping and leaves rustling. a good afternoon. i'd usually feel guilty that i wasn't getting more done. and yet, why? who cares if my house is kind of messy? that i am not working every single day to make money? that my to do list isn't getting crossed off as quickly as i'd like?

to slowing down. to recharging. to being less efficient. to wasting time. to resting. to savoring the sounds and smells and tastes when i stop moving. to nurturing these quiet, still spaces. to a sabbath that recharges me for a very full week ahead.