today

i found this format a while ago from this blog, so thought i'd come back to it as i blog again...

Outside my window...the twittering of birds, the camellia bush in full bloom, the sound of the garbage truck winding its' way up our street. spring is exploding in our yard, and i love it!

I am thinking....about the gift of human connection. this morning at school dropoff, two separate people told me about their dads passing away this week. it makes me remember that relationship is a tender, beautiful thing, and that i need to nurture the relationships i have. i think of grief and how it comes in waves over time. that made me think about how even though after almost 8 years of not having contact with my dad it remains the healthiest, least toxic choice for me, but the reality is that once in a while i, too, really miss having a dad. out of nowhere things make me think of him: the expression on my own face in the mirror or something small - like making easter baskets for my kids the night before easter or when the driver in front of me doesn't use their turn signal & i hear his voice in my head, "your blinker can be on your left hand side of the steering column" - and wonder how he is doing. i think about how grateful i am for the family and friends that filled in that empty space in my heart with love, and how i don't take them for granted. my tribe is rich and scattered and precious.

I am thankful for....my studio, and how i get to work in a space that i love, creating and making and failing and trying and dreaming.

From the kitchen...black coffee and lemons on the counter. (plus i'm doing a second whole30 so lots of prepping & chopping, y'all! see you in 26 days, oh glass of wine. i miss you already...)

One of my favorite things...watching my children do something kind, brave, or loving when they think no one is looking

 

I am wearing...studio gear! my oilcloth apron, a feathered blue hoodie, a shirt from my kids' school, skinny jeans, and my studio danskos

I am creating... three new paintings! they are currently at a stage where i love them, but you never know...by tomorrow i might think they're crap again. 

I am going...to say yes to myself. what i mean by that is that i am not so great at self-care. it's hard to justify making time and space for myself when there are so many needs from my family and others. but guess what? i'm a better me when i take the time to sleep, exercise, read, be still, play with my kids instead of cleaning the house. 

I am reading...between the world and me by ta-nehisi coates, and just finished the nightingale by kristin hannah; and just started reading the chronicles of narnia to the girls at bedtime

I am hoping...to get stronger and healthier! 

i just finished an 8 week bootcamp that kicked my butt in all the most painful and best ways, and i haven't felt this strong in years. when i am thinking i will die in the middle of a workout i think two things: 1. i pushed out two kids and it hurt so bad but i survived! i can do anything for an hour! and 2. my kids are learning that it is good to move and be strong and try hard things. also, did i mention that it starts at 5:45 am? people, i am not a lover of the morning, but this is worth it i tell myself!

I am hearing...one of the new lumineers songs on pandora, and earlier i was listening to election coverage on my very favorite new app: npr one! it's like podcasts and radio all rolled into one. it's fantastic.

Around the house...clean laundry waiting patiently to be put away, little reminders of my children's play, books in tiny piles in every room, light streaming in through the curtains & falling on our wood floors

A few plans for the rest of the week: baking cookies for the girls' teachers & writing them notes, finishing these paintings, running the lake, maybe putting away the aforementioned laundry

 happy wednesday! what's up in your world?