how to be a good parent

um, no, i'm not giving you the answer to that topic, 

i'm asking for the answer.

anyone?

in case there were doubts over whether my childrens' temperaments differed, 

here is photographic proof.

you should know that

a. my kids dress themselves.

b. took these photos minutes apart and each of my girls posed as she wished.

here is the question: how do i nurture their individuality, not compare them in unhealthy ways, and celebrate their similarities (yes, there are some), and differences? this is one i wrestle with often. i always appreciated how my parents treated my three siblings and i differently according to our personalities and strengths and weaknesses, but now as an adult, this has come up as an issue sometimes where one sibling or another has felt slighted or that different treatment was inferior treatment. so i wonder about this as i wade through the deep waters of parenthood, and the 80 million choices you make in a week about how to respond to your children. 

of course the reality is no matter what parenting choices i make i'm sure my kids will be in counseling for years related to me, so there you go.