Monday, May 31, 2010

welcome to home ownership

so, as you know we made the brilliant decision to buy a house the same month that i was due to give birth. and right on time, less than 3 weeks after moving in, ruby was born. of course, since we've moved in we've already had multiple fun adventures in fixing random things.

this weekend matt ended up crawling around in the (appropriately named) crawl space to find the source of a leak and he ended up looking like this..... (not pictured, the assorted bruises dotting his torso and legs. for reals, people.)

i should note that as he climbed out of the ceiling he said, "i'd better make the blog for this!"

blog worthy it is.

and in a completely unrelated but i'm still posting it picture....
matt with baby ruby:
love him. love her.

Saturday, May 29, 2010

Thursday, May 27, 2010

{welcome home}

supercute welcome home ruby sign
hanging in little m & r's room
by aunt chrissy
supercute & sleepy ruby

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

new life

i am sitting in our hospital room with an amazing view of san francisco across the bay, the bay bridge, the golden gate bridge...and in the foreground, our hospital parking garage.

today i celebrate new life!

first, after a very painful but very fast labor (let's just say that we decided to head to the hospital at the right time, since we got to the maternity floor at 5 :15 am and our baby was born at 6: 23 am!! yes- you read that hour later!!!), our new daughter was born!

ruby adelia
was born yesterday morning...
may 24th...
9 pounds, 7 ounces and 21 inches...
a full head of thick black hair & sweet big eyes...
feisty like her big sister, she kept us up all night last night and snuggled with us all day

{ruby is in honor of ruby bridges
(you can read about her courageous story here if you aren't familiar with it);
adelia is a family name on my mother cornelia's side of the family
(& is pronounced uh-deel-ia)}

we love this little beautiful bundle of baby
& now it is matt and the girls!

marks five years that one of my dearest friends in the whole world,
has been cured of leukemia.

i spent a few hours with her on sunday afternoon (pausing once in a while for the contractions that i kept telling myself were no big deal), and as we hung out with our kids underfoot, thought about what a gift she has been to me. her fight against leukemia was long and brave, and i wrote about it a few months ago if you'd like to read more here.
she is an example to me of such inner and outer beauty.
i am so incredibly grateful to call her a friend -
to have walked together through some very treacherous seasons
only to emerge in grace and strength,
and to call today a day of great hope and celebration.

new life comes in all sorts of forms...
joy for this newest, wonderful little baby asleep a few feet away
joy for the rebirth and healing in adriane's body

(thank you all for your very kind comments!
i thought i brought my camera cord to the hospital to upload some photos,
but alas it looks like i didn't. pictures of little ruby to come soon!
now i am going to sleep for a few hours while i can!)

Monday, May 24, 2010


2 am.

well, i'm writing this in the wee hours, between painful but somewhat sporadic contractions
that have been going on for quite a while now.

looks like this baby may be ready to join our family
in the immediate future,
so if you don't hear from me soon,
this post will show up first thing monday morning
it's likely that
things have progressed
and we are off
to see
the "docker" at the "osital" as little m says.


p.s. i forgot how much contractions hurt. kind of a lot.
and oh, they still haven't even gone super crazy yet.

p.p.s. any last gender or name predictions?

Saturday, May 22, 2010


(image from lifewater, an organization that fights poverty through safe water)

my dear friend kacie posted this quote on her blog this week.
i love it.
such powerful words.
now to live with hope is our challenge!

"Hope has two beautiful daughters.
Their names are anger and courage;
anger at the way things are,
and courage to see that they do not remain the way they are."

St. Augustine

Friday, May 21, 2010


happy friday to you...

happy due date to me!

no baby in sight,
but that's fine with me.

i'm savoring these final moments of getting to sleep through the night
take naps at will

and taking full advantage of having this very pregnant belly

enjoy the sunshine!

Thursday, May 20, 2010

babies + beer

oh yes, you read that correctly.

our good friend keith graduated from law school this weekend, which meant time to celebrate! (we were celebrating keith of course, but also celebrating the long journey it has been for his awesome wife, my dear friend nancy, who rocked pregnancy, work, and a toddler... over the course of law school)

nancy and keith hosted a super fun backyard graduation party, complete with a taco truck out front where we could order whatever fun food we wanted. (so so delicious-i wanted to eat everything.) they also had a dessert bar, chock full of amazingly yummy treats.

i snapped some random shots, but got sucked in to talking with friends, so missed out on a lot of photos.

somehow, of the pictures i did take, the trend seemed to be babies + beer:
nancy's mom, pat, holds grandson ellis - who is determined to join in the fiesta
my niece sadie attacks her dad's brew. he looks very concerned.
when i first walked over, little daven was trying so hard to get his dad's beer,
but chetan said the bottom of the bottle was as close as he could get until he was older.

too funny.

{congrats keith + nancy!!}

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

getting ready

don't get all excited now.
still no baby.

a. have you noticed i am trying to blog more? i kind of got out of the habit with house buying and incubating a baby and packing and unpacking and, well, my favorite blogs are ones that are updated a lot, so i'm back at it. :)

b. as i mentioned before....last time i had a newborn, and i nursed like 18 hours a day, i watched gilmore girls, arrested development & assorted other tv shows. we don't have a tv, so i watch everything online or on dvds. so.

friends, help me out. i'm trying to get ready for the many hours i will be sitting every day for months. any suggestions for good (slightly mindless) tv or even movies?

so far this season i am into:

1. parenthood. (love love love.)
2. modern family (so funny)
3. glee (except for the overly musical ones-come on people, less solos, more storyline)

and my standby's- greys anatomy, the office, project runway type shows

(note: see the trend? mindless, i can multi-task while watching shows)


just goes to show... little i know.
i swore this baby was coming early, and here we are, on wednesday.
no baby.
due date is friday.
i'll keep you posted, but for now, no action.

i have to post about how well
this babycakes

is doing.
i have been so bad about keeping track of her language development the last few months,
but her language is exploding!

for example,
last night she said, "i want to read that book."
a SIX word sentence.
and it's funny, because she says things like that all of the time and i don't even stop to marvel at how much of a miracle it is.

she took a standardized test with her therapist to check her receptive & expressive language and she did so, so well
(well, i think so- we haven't gotten results back yet...but apparently unbeknownst to me she knows words like mermaid & squirrel and scissors expressively.)

she was running around the house dancing and singing a song she made up,
and i got all teary remembering how she didn't have access to the world of sound.
cochlear implants are truly amazing.
monrovia is deaf, and she always will be deaf,
but she is learning to talk and listen.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

also loving

lots of small moments that make a whole lot of wonderful:
time celebrating with friends
a. our newly painted black bathroom. love. love. love the black.
b. final preggy belly moments
(here is one of my last attempts to document this pregnancy with more than 3 photos)
my cute niece sadie fern.
6 months of cuddly, smiley babyness.
(being held here by my brother aaron's super awesome girlfriend sarah)
my first handmade mother's day present from little m
these beautiful anemones from matt to me as a pre-mother's day bouquet
the amazing team of friends and family who love on my daughter
(here are a few of sister becca, my brother aaron, and matt's sister chrissy)
this practical & also cute basket of housewarming treats from my mom-in-law,
chock full of my very favorite housecleaning products, mrs. meyers
these crazy stunning amaryllis from my mom-in-law's garden.
so red.
so lovely.
last but not least, strawberry season.
oh strawberries,
how i adore you.
i could eat you all the day long.
(my mom made TWO strawberry pies for mother's day that just ruined me:
a strawberry rhubarb and a fresh strawberry.
i will never be as good of a baker as my mom.)

how about you?
any small but beautiful moments in your life lately?

Monday, May 17, 2010

loving this cuteness

i am not really a diaper bag kind of mom,
(although a very generous friend gave me a super fancypants nice one when m was born)
but as i was registering for a few necessities for this second baby
(mostly very boring things like shampoo & baby spoons)
i spotted this
very cute non diaper bag-looking diaper bag.
i just couldn't resist adding it to my registry.

lo and behold,
what a fun treat...
my mom & my sister
got it for me!

it showed up yesterday
and i am using
it already
that cute.

such a poser

my daughter usually refuses to perform for me- whether that means with language (she'll talk your ear off until i say, "m, can you say this?" or until she is in therapy and then, complete silence), posing for photos, or showing off some new trick or ability she has mastered.

don't get me wrong, i'm glad she is not a performer- i think it is much better for her to be independent rather than my little ventriloquist act. the only thing is that is can be inconvenient when it comes to taking pictures of her- especially family or group photos, but even solo pics.

most of our photos of her feature her staring or squinting or zoning out.

exhibit a:
exhibit b:

imagine my surprise when i uploaded some photos last night and stumbled upon this one:
(what a little poser)

Sunday, May 16, 2010


{39 1/2 weeks pregnant}


i grew up taking naps every sunday afternoon.

sundays, from morning until night,
were for rest, renewal, and restoration.

no chores, no homework, no tv.

in the morning we went to church as a family
(no exceptions)
and then later in the day we hung out, read, drew, played, napped, imagined, went over to friends' houses,
made a meal,
or didn't do much of anything at all.

sometimes i would protest,
but there was something really freeing -even as a young child -about having a day in which there were no expectations of production, efficiency, accomplishment.

i often lose that perspective & i try to knock out my to do list, catch up on things, get a couple things done, multi-task.

some days i feel like i haven't had a good day unless i've gotten "enough" done.
(whatever that means)

this morning i am thinking about how much our bodies and our souls crave rest.
(i will be completely honest - this is hard for me to sit with as i imagine this new baby coming at any time..and i realize that soon and very soon i will have very little time to accomplish much at all- except for sustaining a new life, of course!)

may your day be still.
soak in moments of
getting nothing done,
enjoying the people around you,
slowing down,
being at peace.

you have plenty of time to get to your list of to do's later.
i promise.

Friday, May 14, 2010

happy friday!

happy friday, my friends!
my due date is in one week, so i decided it may be time to pack my hospital bag and make my labor mix (music during labor helped me so so much last time,
so here's hoping it will help me endure labor again.)
i kind of forget how all of this goes,
but i figure it will come rushing back to me as soon as those contractions start.

meanwhile, matt is such a rockstar and has been whipping our house into shape.
my sister in law chrissy has also been a rockstar in the form of organizing, unpacking and helping out with our double-ear infected 2 year old all week long. (it doesn't seem that fair to me that a deaf child could get 3 ear infections in 3 months and according to our pediatrician may have to get, what!? are you kidding me? but i am wandering off topic)
i am feeling like things are coming together slowly but surely.

being this pregnant is kind of annoying because, well,
it is hard to do much of anything without needing a nap.

aforementioned 2 year old on her first car ride, as we jetted home from the hospital 2 years ago.
she was so tiny!
more tiny toes and fingers ahead in the immediate future.

here's hoping our weekend is nice and mellow, with friends and family,
and a few more days til baby #2.

enjoy the sunshine,
and channel me-
take lots of naps!

Thursday, May 13, 2010

the best mother's day present possible

for months, i have been trying to get little m to say "mommy."

but no, sweet thing calls me "ma".

she also calls my mom and matt's mom ma. that's right, we are all ma.

meanwhile, matt is daddy or sometimes daddy-oh (yes, seriously). she says all sorts of two syllable names, even three syllable ones: micah, cameron, kalia, becca, cassandra, etc etc.

but i have just been "ma."

i mean, i am the one who carried her in my body and gave (painful) birth to her-
i figured i could at least get that second syllable,
or be differentiated from the rest of the pack in some way.

it didn't seem like that much to ask in light of all the other
(may i add slightly less important) names she says...
for example, the name of the contractor working on our house,
who has been in her life all of two weeks.
just saying.

i asked sharon, her therapist at school, to work on it with her.
but to no avail.
no matter what sneaky tricks i tried, i was still just ma, lumped in with the grandmas.
which is all fine and good of course,
but i had it stuck in my head that i wanted that second syllable.
(silly, i know.)

on sunday, matt taught m an adapted version of a song we sing at school called "special, special family;" he changed it to "special, special mommy" and it was my mother's day present from little m.

except that of course when the time came to sing it to me, she refused.

not a single note or stanza.

instead, out of the blue she shouted, "MOMMY!"
i stopped and cheered (literally),
"you called me mommy!!!!!!!"
and my heart did a flip flop.
it was the best mother's day gift ever.

and since then, all week long, i have been mommy.
not ma.
she's screamed it, whispered it, sung it, stated it.


in fact, yesterday at target, (when i was standing all of two feet from her)
she cupped her hands around her mouth and shouted at the top of her lungs,
(and to add on to the gloriousness,
she has marched around the house singing the special, special mommy song,
which pretty much melts my heart every time)


(ps i give matt full credit for somehow getting her to say mommy. 100%.)

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

fun fetes

one of the downsides to moving is that i currently can't find half of our belongings. as i've mentioned before, we had very amazing, generous friends help us pack since i am so preggers that packing was not really an option. the downside to this (although i am so grateful for the help) is that i have no idea where things are- this goes for where actual boxes are located (the garage? the kitchen? who knows) as well as the contents of each box. it's kind of like a daily treasure hunt to discover where things are. then, of course, there are the small things that i packed but that i still can't find.

exhibit a: my missing cord that connects my camera to my laptop so that i can upload photos, hence the relative lack of pictures on this blog these days.

but i digress.

friday night some friends showed up at our door with pizza, salad, drinks, flowers, fenton's ice cream, and baby gifts in tow! matt and i had no idea they were coming; we were just putting m down to bed when the doorbell rang and our fun friends showed up. such a great treat- a surprise shower for baby #2! our evening was complete with multiple pack n' plays & pj's so that our friends could put their little ones down while we partied.

my biggest laughs of the evening came first, when my friend amy made us a diaper cake. have you seen these at showers? the "cakes" that are comprised of diapers rolled up and glued together to form a cake, with random baby items nestled into the layers.

they usually look like this:

or this:
or this:

amy's version was a little more minimalist & way more awesome: a container of diapers, ripped in half and stacked together to form a double layer cake of course, with three candles poked into the top of the package and a ribbon wrapped around the packaging to hold the whole thing together. of course, it is way more funny if you've been to umpteen baby showers where the crafty ones whip out their diaper creations.

humorous moment #2:
in lieu of shower games, we had a little time of blessing the new baby and our family, which i loved. so great to be surrounded by these dear ones, knowing that as we raise these children that they will be by our side.

at the end of the evening, my friend nancy and i decided we should give matt, her husband keith, and my brother aaron a taste of the glories of shower games. first, we had them guess my belly girth using toilet paper (all three boys lost & nancy won-of course, because when amy, nancy and i were roommates at least one of us ALWAYS won shower games...) game #2 was that we stole a few diapers out of the aforementioned diaper cake and a handful of monrovia's stuffed animals. they each had 1 minute to diaper as many of the stuffed animals (blindfolded) as they could. oh, funny to watch. i'm proud to report that my very own husband won this round of the game.

last night, some girlfriends took me to dinner (hello, fondue- so yummy= how can melted cheese plus anything be anything but delicious?) to celebrate baby #2. it was the perfect evening to sit with friends, talk, laugh and eat (especailly since the night before matt and i had been up all night long with a sick kiddo and all day long with a fussy kiddo.) i love, love, loved it from beginning to end. it made me so happy to look around the table and just soak up these amazing women who are in my life. (and i can't help it, but i sort of love presents. i didn't expect any, but then fun treats came anyway! i just love opening gifts. so fun.) it was a special night to celebrate and to look forward to this new season in our family's life. i loved it.

in addition to some very meaningful moments, we laughed as everyone shared their predictions for:
  • the baby's gender
  • the day baby #2 will appear on the scene (due date is may 21st)
  • the baby's name (first and middle or middles :))
  • what i will be doing when i go into labor
so why not join in the fun? what are your predictions for these??? any takers?
post baby birth the guesser who is the closest will get a prize. and it will be awesome. i promise.

Sunday, May 9, 2010

(happy mother's day)

last year i wrote this about the gift that is all the different sorts of moms in our lives. i read it again this morning and another year into being a mom it seemed even more true to me.

i am so thankful for the moms in my life. i am so thankful that i get to be a mom.

to honor my own amazing mom today,
a few of the things she's taught me along the way:

  • live with integrity, even when it costs you
  • it isn't called getting lost - it's called "we're going on an adventure"
  • at the end of the day, it's more important to spend an extra few minutes with your children than it is to make sure your kitchen is spotless
  • tell your kids how much you love being their mom, and how glad you are that they are in your family
  • remember that your children are individuals - that means loving, disciplining, supporting, and interacting with each one according to who they are as unique human beings
  • if you love deeply, you'll grieve deeply too.
  • you don't have to follow a recipe exactly. (in fact, you don't need to follow a recipe at all to make some pretty delicious food.)
  • the end of summer vacation is the worst time of the year, because that's when your kids have to go back to school.
  • pray for your children & pray with your children
  • stand by your convictions, even when it embarrasses your kids
  • hug & snuggle your kids. comfort them. delight in them. laugh & cry with them.
  • treat other people as if they are a part of your family-you'll end up with a whole lot of extra adopted children along the way
  • silliness is an essential ingredient in being a good mom
happy mother's day!

Saturday, May 8, 2010

oh the goodness

we don't have internet access until next wednesday, which is killing me. but it is also probably a good thing to have a little break from the world of online access. the thing is, every so often i need a break from unpacking, and i don't really feel like being productive, or reading, or writing, or drawing, or anything-ing but vegging. the problem is that we don't have a tv or cable, so i always do my vegging by watching tv online.

when i was nursing little m 12 hours a day back in her earliest days, i watched all seasons of arrested development, lots of project runway, greys anatomy, and 6 seasons of gilmore girls. the other night i went on a frenzy to find something, anything to watch in our boxes of stuff.

(cue angelic music)

lo and behold, season 7 of gilmore girls sat right on the top of a box.
so i re-watched rory and lorelei in all of their glory.
and it was so good.
lucky for me i watched half of the episodes in the middle of the night, in a nursing newborn stupor, so i hardly remembered what i watched anyway.
it was so perfectly veg-worthy.
i love me some gilmore girls.
and i don't care if that makes me un-cool.

Friday, May 7, 2010

a small small note

to our little one in the womb,

soon you will be joining us out here in the world. we can't wait to meet you, and to discover who you are - not just whether you are a boy or girl (although i admit i am curious), but what your personality is like and how you will mark your place in our little family.

itty bitty baking baby, i love you already.

i have to confess that there are moments when i ask myself-and i ask your daddy- whether it is possible to love another child as much as we love your big sister.

and then i remember that before she was out in this world, before she marked herself on our hearts and before she made our family more complete, that i had the same fears about her. i wondered how things would work- if i could love a child the way other mothers loved their children; if i would know how to be a mom; if i would love a little person the way i love other people in my life.

and then your sister was born, and it all fell into place. now i can't imagine life without her. soon, i won't be able to remember what life was like before you were born - i know it. it's sort of like the fact that i can't imagine my own family without all three of my younger, unique siblings.

here are some things that you should know:
  • i kind of like to snuggle. so get ready to spend some time being warm and cozy in my arms.
  • we aren't very organized this time around. you may see a lot of boxes and randomness when you first come home - but i promise that soon we will be all moved in and life will ease back into less crazy. (at least that is what i'm telling myself)
  • your sister is obsessed with babies, but she might not always be nice when you first come home. she is used to having us all to herself, and she may not like having to share her mommy and daddy. don't worry-she'll fall in love with you soon enough.
  • i kind of love baby legwarmers, so whether you are a boy or a girl, you'll be rocking them. you have plenty of time to make your own fashion decisions in life.
  • you have a whole big family of grandparents and aunts and uncles and a cousin as well as another contingency of just-like-family-but-not-blood-related who can't wait to meet you, love you, and watch you grow up.
  • i can't lie. i don't love the labor and delivery part - it hurts so much that i want to die. but it's worth it.
  • it's ok if you want to stay in there a little longer. the longer you bake, the fewer boxes in the house. it's up to you, little one.
  • you will make our family even more complete.
{we love you.}

your mommy

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

joy in the journey

going, going...Italicgone.

sometimes a full morning of waking up early, then a one hour commute to school, 3 hours of class and therapy, and finally the one hour drive home is too much for this little one and she falls soundly asleep en route home to oakland. admittedly her car-nap is not my favorite thing: if she falls asleep for even five minutes of the drive she won't take her regular afternoon nap. that means no break (or lately, naptime) for me, plus it means a fussypants kiddo until bedtime. that said, it is a full morning of trekking and work for her, so i understand why she wants to sleep.

she was pretty tired after school yesterday, so she fell asleep a few minutes in, and it gave me about 45 minutes of quiet to think.

when we first heard the words that monrovia was deaf, an impenetrable darkness and hopelessness descended into our lives. that sounds dramatic, but that is how it felt. i was sad, angry, and lost. i didn't know at that point that our daughter would be full of life and joy even without the ability to hear. (of course, i could have told you in an abstract sense that things would be ok, and i usually smiled and nodded at the well-meaning people who told me that, but i didn't feel that way in the moment.)

there are many moments that will be hard on this journey, but as i was driving yesterday, i was so thankful for the gifts that have come out of having a daughter who is deaf. i am incredibly grateful for the people who are now a part of my life who likely i never would have met unless my daughter was deaf.

as i sat in the family room of m's school while monrovia was in class, talking with other moms whose kids also have hearing loss. moms who are now friends; moms who teach me how to be a good mom by the way that they parent their daughters; moms that i can talk to about all sorts of things- buying houses, good recipes, life's ups and downs, cute shoes, etc.; moms who get it because we are on similar journeys.

in monrovia's therapy session, i was grateful for her therapist, sharon, who has been working with our daughter since she was 7 months old, and who rejoices with us in every single developmental milestone.

as i walked up to morning music with m's teacher, sally, i was thankful for her energy and creativity in a classroom of two year olds. she brings out the best of the kids in her class.

when monrovia accidentally wiped hand sanitizer in her eyes, beginning a full fledged screamfest, and her classroom aide, matt, came to her rescue wiping her eyes and supplying two animal crackers as diversion, i was thankful for his patience. (and the fact that he is her first grown up boy crush. i hear about matt all day long, every day...)

just watching both sally and sharon exhausts me, but i never doubt that they are on our team and are celebrating our whole daughter, and not just her speech and language development.

and then there are those who i have met through the world of blogging, some who i have met in person, some whom i have not, who have become friends, and who are an encouragement and support.

i'm thankful that 2 years into this journey, my life is richer and wholer. i never would have imagined that when we heard the words "profound hearing loss", but it is worth celebrating.

Tuesday, May 4, 2010


well, new house means no internet access for now. so posts are sporadic for now...

in the meantime,
  • no baby. but it feels like it may come soon. this is a problem, because i need a little more time...of course i may be wrong and end up waiting another 3 weeks...
  • i live in box city. i kid you not, our house is a mess of boxes everywhere.
  • i love our new place. love. boxes and all, mess and all, crazy and all.
  • people are so kind: helping us move, pack, unpack, babysit, cleaning our old place and new place since i am kind of unable, bringing me brownie moving treats, being my friend. i am thankful.
more to come. here's hoping i can get online soon.