here, not here

this week my family is here, in this amazing and peaceful place, for a much-needed reboot:

and then this morning, i happened to click on my facebook feed and see the horrifying news from charleston, south carolina of the massacre of nine african american people at a prayer meeting by a racist young man. i can't get it out of my mind - the ugliness of racism in our country. i can't get how nine more human beings have been murdered because of the color of their skin. the beauty of this lake- with water that runs cold and clear, with the sound of lapping waves that lull me to sleep at night- can't make me stop thinking of the cost of lives taken, yet again, of my brothers and sisters who are black. 

i don't have any lucid thoughts. only grief. 

lord, have mercy.