Saturday, January 10, 2015

a post to myself, because i forget.

when i'm about to go ballistic on my girls
because it feels like they have a targeted ability to push my buttons
i'm at the end of my rope

i need to go in my mind to moments like this,
where my girls remind me that


they are discovering how to make their way in the world,
how to be human,
how to fight and make up,
how to have conflict and resolve it,
when to make believe and when not to,
when to play well with others and when to resist the crowd,
how to have self control
how to be silly
when to follow the rules and when to make their own way,
how to mature.

it's tricky business,
and sometimes i think i expect them to be small adults,
to realize the obvious consequences of their actions,
and to read my adult mind and know how to behave properly.

on one hand i want them to grow up fast, 
because i want them to listen and respond to my requests,
and to be appropriate at all times,
and to have good manners.
but then on the other hand i want them to stay just like this-
twirling and dancing in make-believe costumes,
playing together in the world of pretend. 

a challenge to me this year is to hold both of them together:
the importance of teaching my girls when they need to be appropriate
when i need to let things go and let them play,
and savor being 4 and 6 years old.
 i know before i even realize it they will be all grown up, no pretend left in them, 
navigating a harsh world.

what can i give them?
i can give them a safe place to come back to-
a place where showing the wrong actions or emotions is forgiven with love and grace and hugs,
a place where they can play and not be embarrassed,
a place where they are loved and known entirely
no matter how old they are
and how unkind the world outside is.

what do you need to work on this year as a parent?
talk to me wise friends; 
i need all the help  can get.


  1. I do so much better when I remember they are little. So little.

    Man...I would kill to see what is going on in those little brains.

    1. i think that is the thing that saves me- when i realize they are freaking out or screaming at me because they are LITTLE and that's the only thing they know how to do. sometimes monrovia will scream/cry, "I just need a hug mom! that's what a mom is supposed to do!" that's always a really good reality check that my expectations for them are a teensy bit unrealistic. holy crap i can hardly hold my emotions together or keep my room clean and i am almost FORTY.


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