Friday, May 27, 2016

things i don't understand

today's post is brought to you by some of my personal pet peeves:

  • someone who makes websites, please explain. i hate when i type in aaaaaaall my bits and pieces: my name, address, zip code, phone number, credit card, security code, blah blah and scroll to the bottom and hit the button to proceed to the next page and boom! your page refreshes with an alert that you forgot to scroll down to the correct country name, all while erasing all the info you just typed in. you hit the backspace because maybe it's on the page you just left. and no. erased. um, seriously? you are going to make me re-enter every single piece of information again just because i didn't scroll through 43 countries to get to united states of america?! don't you already have my complete address? thank you for stealing those minutes of my life, internet.
  • why it's easier to gain five pounds than lose one.
  • why palazzo pants are back in style. i can dig through my old pictures from the mid/late 90's to prove just how unflattering that elastic waist-wide leg-lightweight fabric is, but do we need these in our life again? NO. (walk away from the rack, my friends. walk away)
  • how i can spend $100 at target when i really, truly just walked in to buy toilet paper and deodorant. every time! 
  • how my two small children can completely destroy their bedroom in less than five minutes. it really is like a tornado hit their room, opening their lockers, drawers and hurling their hangers and bookshelves all over the place.  
  • on that note? my kids brush their teeth twice a day. every time i walk into the bathroom when they are done the sink looks like some kind of disaster zone. they only have a total of two mouths and four hands between them. how can they create the amount of toothpaste residue spackled onto the hand towel and random places on the sink, toothpaste spit dribbled down the entire side of the sink bowl? plus the toothbrushes are scattered, the toothpaste cap is on the floor and toothpaste container is across the room on a shelf? oh, and the sink is steadily dripping. always.
  • how it is i can go from being the meanest mom in the whole world to the best mom ever in less than five minutes. on a daily basis, everybody. meanest, worst, nicest, best. 
  • the appeal of seaweed snacks. it's like eating fishy tasting sheets of paper.
  • see also: video games, essential oil obsession, drones in public places (creepy?!), why people like bananas, people who obviously see you waiting for a parking spot and make eye contact with you but then don't signal in some way to you that they aren't actually leaving, they're just putting something away in their car or about to sit in the driver's seat with their seatbelt on and car on so they can text for ten minutes.
really. feel free to explain any of these to me.

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