two years ago...

two years ago today, after a long and hard fight (that i feared we would never win against the big, huge insurance company, although i fought my little heart out) and so much anticipation, 

m had her bilateral cochlear implant surgery. 

(post surgery)

in some ways, that day seems so long ago. but then i scan back to what i wrote that day and week, and it is fresh and so recent and even raw on some level. (doesn't she look so tiny in those posts?) i strangely felt incredibly calm during the surgery, but there were so many unknowns looming ahead of us.

there are days that change everything in the trajectory of one's life; it seems like most of the time you don't realize that a day will affect so much in the future- say, when you first meet your future spouse or the day you decide to take a class that ends up determining your vocation.

on february 23rd 2008, we hoped that that single surgery on a single day would fundamentally shift the possibilities in our daughter's life. we waited and trusted that surgery would open our daughter up to the world of sound. we hoped she would have a lifetime of hearing moments and that someday she be able to hear us say her name, or sing her to sleep, tell us what happened at school, or many years from now hear her beloved say "i love you" to her or the laughter of her children. but two years ago, we didn't know what would happen after m's surgery. it was uncharted and scary territory.

our baby had lived, well-loved, in a world of silence since the day she was born. and now, two years later, it is hard for me to imagine this child who sings and talks to herself and anyone who will listen not experiencing sound. every day i marvel at her insistent little voice, and how it seems as if she was made to talk and listen, even though she was born deaf.

m's hearing birthday, the day her implants got activated and she first heard sound isn't until next month, but today i celebrate this very special day that marks the journey our daughter began from silence to sound.  my deaf daughter loves to sing and be sung to; her favorite latest mash-up is a self created and ever evolving version of 'it's a small world after all' mixed with 'he's got the whole world in his hands.' the words, especially since they come from her, seem more appropriate than anything else i could write.

It's a world of laughter

A world of tears

It's a world of hopes

And a world of fears

There's so much that we share

That it's time we're aware

He's got the whole world in his hands

He's got the whole world in his hands

He's got the whole small world after all