waiting

always pain before a child is born-

lyrics from the song yahweh by u2

we have been waiting (patiently) for my niece to be born. 

my sister, 11 days overdue, finally started going into labor in the wee hours yesterday morning. it has been slow, and it looks like a long road is ahead, so for now, we wait. 

meanwhile, with mark at her side encouraging her and rooting her on, she breathes through the pain, hopes for reprieve, and labors until her daughter pushes out into the world. 

the last few days i have been thinking about my own labor. it is hard now to remember exactly how painful it was, but i remember that i thought i might die. i thought it would never subside, that this pain would split me in two. it was in those moments that matt would look away with tears in his eyes from my pain level that i would feel a little burst of strength, knowing he was right next to me and that i was not alone. and then, after hours of so much pain, after months of so much waiting, after breathing and screaming and pushing, the baby is here. and suddenly one's entire world shifts. the waiting is over, and the new journey begins.

somehow the joy of this new life invades and dissipates the pain, and it becomes just a memory. even the agony of waiting is forgotten as this new life begins. i think this is true whether you birth your own child, or whether it is the pain and waiting of adopting your child into your family. joy floods the pain until it eventually fades into the background.

(a few snapshots of little m's birth day)

little m, moments after birth

already bright eyed and feisty

matt with little m

notice her annoyed look- which she still makes

me, tired but happy

this may be the last time m snuggled for like a year

uncle mark with little m (he looks like a natural, right?)

aunt becca, grandma and our daughter

so for today, hope that my sister's labor will soon be over, and the pain soon forgotten.

little one, we are waiting for you. 

and we can't wait to meet you. 

we have a whole lifetime of adventures to begin! 

love, aunt susannah