Thursday, September 13, 2012

so not fun

yesterday, post-the-time-when-my-children-are-supposed-to-sleep-so-i-can-work-but-instead-they-both-decided-to-nap-strike, 
i had to go to the grocery store. 
at 4 pm. 
with both of my non-napping but very tired children. 
which is the worst, i know, 
but i didn't really have many other options because matt works until late on wednesday nights.
my girls were not complete nightmares, 
but it was rough.

ruby tries to grab everything off the shelves, or climb out of the cart. 
m antagonizes ruby by pulling on her legs, or runs away from the cart, or sits in the back of the cart and smashes the food, or begs for everything in sight, 
or takes a bite of an apple so then i have to buy it.

12 years later we make it through the grocery gauntlet,
and i've actually remembered my entire list!

oh, but wait.

add in the teenagers in baseball uniforms who were standing outside of the store asking for money for their championship (legit or not, who knows) or some other athletic endeavor 

and then the very nice older homeless guy asking if he could wash my car windows for a couple of dollars (maybe you don't have this at your grocery store, but i live in a city y'all)

as i schlepped my whining, writhing kids and all of my groceries past them
i tried to politely say "not today, thanks" while wrangling two human beings in a cart
when all i wanted to say was, 
"do you see that i kind of have my hands full?"

then as m darted away from the cart in a busy parking lot
i thought:
"grocery shopping with my children is perhaps my least favorite activity. in the top five for sure."

because at some point in the errand one or both of my children look like this:
and at some point i am an exasperated, annoyed mom 
(i will let you insert your own mental picture here)

two questions:
any tips for the inevitable bad-time-of-day-but-have-to-take-your-kids-with-you-errands?
what are your least favorite activities as a parent?
(if you aren't a parent you can still comment and tell me what a good mom i am anyway, 
cause i could use the pep talk...
even if you witnessed me interacting with my children as they tried to punch all of the buttons on the credit and debit card kiosk at the register at about 5:15 last night) 


  1. I feel your pain. I sometimes resort to bribery in the form of a cookie from the nice ladies at the bakery...

  2. i have no idea what life-with-kids--attempting-to-get-errands completed...but as i read your blog, i am in awe; as i can only imagine its far from a walk in the park! thanks for sharing; please do share your best kept secrets for success as taking notes!

  3. oh my gosh, you know how to draw the comments out of me! this is my life. here are the tips i've gotten (by asking and by other concerned moms at the store who can tell i need help).

    1. tj's has a new game - did you see the sign. look for the white elephant and win a prize at the snack/sample counter. this buys me 1 min. til J finds the elephant

    2. give the child an apple/pear/favorite fruit here. this keeps their hands and mouths occupied from grabbing, screaming for food and shouting at me. this buys me 3 min.

    3. have them help me find _______. in front of the dairy/hummus/bean case i ask him to look for and find ______. this buys me 30sec.

    4. snack/sample counter - this buys me another 2 min while they eat a treat.

    5. then i run thru the rest of the store.
    6. then i have to wait in the longest line while my kids flip out
    7. then i beg for stickers to keep their hands occupied again from canceling my transaction (J's favorite thing is to try and run the food across the sensor).
    8. then i give J one of those tickets you get for bringing your own bag so you can enter the prize. but i make him use it to try and push the other tickets out from behind the plastic covering in front of the check out stand. you know what i'm talking about. this buys me 7 minutes but a ton of complaining...'i can't get it!' but he's so fascinated he stands still.

    and then we're out the door and i lock them back up inside the house

    1. thanks for the tj's tips! i know- i feel like i should be more creative in my distraction techniques..i did come armed with a snack for both of them. that did buy me 3 min; you're right

  4. i still have to bribe my kids or give thema mindless task when grocery shopping...i wish i coul dsay the madness lessens as they get older but saldy only their ability to debate increases. next time call me, and i'll hang with the girls while you solo grocery shop.

    1. ah- so TRUE! i didn't even think about the increased debate potential! yikes. and yes to you hanging with the girls! ;)

  5. Bring books along? (reading/flipping through picture books while riding in the cart ...) (or other small distractions--a favorite stuffie, or toy).

    Make it a game (with small, but coveted prize at the end ... and part of the game is staying close to the cart/mom at all times).

    Shameless bribery, game or no game, if group shopping is unavoidable.

    1. ooh, i like these tips rose. i should brings books; we always have them in the car and i could just throw some in the cart.

  6. M could have bit into a Butterfinger so 5 parent points for the fruit grab
    9 points for grocery shopping for the fam when you could have thrown in the towel
    Remembering your whole list, 26 points
    12 points for not staring at the ground and ignoring the pleas for money
    Ruby exited the store without a bruise, 19 points
    Offers from the window washing guy means your at Farmer Joe's so 12 points for shopping local and 17 points for resisting an ice coffee from Peet's

    =100 point awesome mom

    Bonus 3876 points for having 2 kids that are still cute no matter how upset they are

    1. 5 million points for this comment's awesomeness

  7. i think i'm feeling a little like ruby's feeling in that photo.

    and by the way, you're a great mom. xxx

    1. :( maybe you need a trip to california to cheer you up?

      (thank you nicola- i can't tell you how often i think of you and your girls)

  8. Oh, soooo know the feeling. I only ever have one kid on my hands, but sometimes it feels like he has the destructive power of more. For me, the worst feeling is when I can tell that a major non-compliance episode is just about to start, and Prim Matronly Type is staring at me to see whether I can effectively nip it in the bud, because of course any backtalk from my child is clear evidence that I am a totally incompetent parent.

    As deeply unpleasant as that is, I guess my least favorite parental activity is still ... wiping. Nuff said.

    1. haha so true to the judgey grocery store types.

      and i'd agree with point number two. if ben's a year older than m i guess i still have plenty of that in my future... sigh.


Hi friends! This is where you talk back to me. :) Easy peasy: write your comment, then scroll down where it says "comment as" to identify yourself (if you want to just write your name click Name/URL or just click anonymous. xoxoxoxo