one year ago

yesterday, february 23rd, marked the year anniversary of a very momentous day in our family's life. it's funny, because it took me a few hours to realize that it was a special day- we had our typical tuesday morning rush to get out of the house early to drive an hour to m's school for the deaf. as usual, m moved in super slow motion getting her implants on, getting dressed, eating breakfast; meanwhile, i scrambled to get snacks for the car and tried to corral a few books her therapist had requested for her session. and then, miraculously, only five minutes behind schedule, we were out the door, in the car, and on our way to school. it was raining, which always means more traffic, more car frustration for m, more accidents. but the drive was uneventful, and m was relatively patient for the first 45 minutes.

m had already gone to morning music, therapy, and half of her class when i realized that the 23rd marks a year since m's cochlear implant surgery.

(hours after surgery in recovery)

oh

-do you remember?-

how we fought insurance, anticipated, hoped, prayed and counted the days down for that day.

and then, after so much energy and work, the day came.

i thought i would be nervous,

but somehow i was completely calm and ready for the surgery to happen.

i trusted her doctors, and we were ready.

and it truly changed everything.

there hasn't been a single day in the last 365 that i have taken her implants for granted.

i marvel when she startles to loud noises.

when she pointed in delight and shouted "beeeeg tuck" (big truck)

on the freeway en route to school yesterday.

when she dances to music.

when she points at a picture of herself and says our nickname for her, "roro."

sometimes, when her implants are off, and she is in silence, i forget and i keep talking as if she will understand me, because i have gotten so used to her hearing me.

yesterday on our drive home from m's school, she was doubled over in her carseat, completely asleep. i turned on npr and listened to talk of the nation for a while. the guest was talking about miracles, and whether people believe that miracles happen today. they were looking for a different kind of caller, but it was all i could do not to pick up my phone and call in to say, "we've had a miracle in our family. my daughter can hear me say her name. cochlear implants are a miracle." instead, i just drove and m kept sleeping, and i marveled to myself at the miracle in my backseat.

m yesterday, after her snooze in the car

happy surgery birthday, sweet girl!