Saturday, February 13, 2010

splish splash

aunt robyn & uncle chris sent little m fun treats for the bathtub: washable bath crayons & paints, fizzy colored tablets that make the water different colors (hence the red water), and bright red bath foam.
m already loves bathtime, but now her average stay in the tub has been extended by a good 30 minutes. (thanks robyn & chris!)


sometimes bathtime makes me sad, because m can't wear her implants in the water and is splashing around so getting her attention to sign anything is hard or i won't know the sign for what i want to say to her. it is one of those many moments when i wish she could hear me always.

but then she has such joy tromping around in the water, and she delights in every moment of playing in the tub, and i remember that it is my grief-not yet (and maybe never) hers.

so that sadness is flooded with gratitude for her laughter, even as i struggle with the realness of the loss of a child who can just always hear like i can. even as i try to push away twinges of jealousy at the moms who can comfort their child with spoken words when shampoo gets in their eyes, or explain that it is time to clean up the toys and get out of the tub, or sing silly bath songs.
look at that smile.
she can't hear me, but she is delighted as can be.

5 comments:

  1. I totally know what you are talking about. Isaac adores bath time and I sometimes forget that he can't hear me and talk to him anyway. We do have the N5's but are still very hesitant to have him wear them in the tub as he splashes SOOOOO much. Though sometimes I think that he enjoys the silence of the bath, the end of the day, almost bed time and an escape from the noisy world that we live in.....

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  2. Bath time is tough as is swimming lessons and days at the beach but as M grows and learns she will likely be a champion lip reader...wait and see.
    also, our grief is not likely to be our daughter's grief just as their grief will not be ours.
    God carries all our grief and our burdens.

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  3. what jonathan said.
    and seriously, look at the joy she has for being in the tub! so cute.

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  4. Nice Fuckable Ass

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