{a long day}

{here is someone a bit groggy and very roll-y after her anesthesia today}

it was a long morning and afternoon at children's hospital. m was amazing- so patient and agreeable, despite being ravenous and exhausted. we sat in the waiting room for such a long time; i started to get increasingly nervous as more and more time passed. finally a nurse came out and said all was well. by the time we finally got in to see her, she looked so tiny laying on the bed, still out from the anesthesia with the mask still on her face and the iv still in. as she slowly awoke, our feisty one came back strong as ever- she pulled the mask off of her face and began flailing about to pull the blankets off. her eyes still looked so dazed and out of it, but her personality was coming back. it was hard to see her so small, dressed in teeny blue hospital pj's, looking so out of it. she did so well and was so brave, and now she is a little out of it and fussy, but fine.

but honestly, i am also extremely grateful. it's so easy to compare your situation to the best case scenario in life, don't you think? most of the time when i get sad about m not being able to hear it is because someone has made a comment about singing to their child, or i see a baby turn at the sound of its name, etc. it is always an instance when i compare m to a child who can hear, and never to a family who may be having harder things going on than ours. inevitably it is not a healthy or wise practice to compare whether someone is better or worse off than you. does it help anything? no. does it make us more gracious people? uh, no. or give you a better attitude? no.

as my mom and i sat in the waiting room i saw so many children and families in such difficult situations: a newborn from the icu who had just had an mri, a little girl with kidney problems, a boy who was pre-verbal and unable to walk, and on and on. it is pretty sad to sit in a children's hospital for more than ten minutes. as all of these families come in and out of appointments you get glimpses into their worlds and into how much they are carrying as they raise children with special needs. it made me think about how healthy and happy m is. yes, she is deaf, but i am so thankful...for living so close to a pediatric hospital, for insurance, and for having the support of family and friends. 

this will be a long road, but i am so freaking grateful for our daughter. i'm also so amazed by the men and women who work in pediatric hospitals; everyone we interacted with today was so kind, gentle, and encouraging. and i have such respect for the many parents who love their kids in the most difficult situations, and who have to lug their child from one doctor's appointment to the next. it was humbling.