i'm a little succulent

in the last few years, i've sort of become obsessed with the coolness of succulents. i promise i have never stolen them from anyone's yard (although i've been tempted, especially because they can just grow back and you can just plant a torn off succulent and it will grow!) one of the characteristics of succulent plants (& trees) is that they are able to adapt to and flourish in arid climate and soil conditions. they store water in their stems, roots and/or leaves. these little built in water-saving containers gives succulents a more swollen appearance than other plants. (and in my opinion, is what makes them so striking visually.)

i feel like matt and i are kind of in a perfect storm at the moment. we have a lot going on in our collective life, and much of it isn't even due to little m's deafness. of course, the fact that we are making such huge decisions about her surgery, her therapy, and her future right now is a part of it all, but that is only one element of what we are dealing with. in the midst of it all, i honestly feel a bit of hope (even though i have no tangible evidence to base this hope on). 

i kind of feel like a succulent. and i guess i want to feel like that through all sorts of conditions- that i can adapt and survive life's darkest moments with grace, peace, faith, and hope. for a succulent, if the water isn't in the soil or atmosphere, the water is stored internally. i'm not saying it's just digging down into myself that will sustain me; i don't think i personally have the resources to get through things on my own. the water that allows the plant to thrive but it is not an innate part of the plant, but it gives it life and existence. so that's where i'm at today. my circumstances may not be hydrating me, but i have faith that the water is in there, deep down inside.