a couple of thoughts:
one, i'm really glad i was able to give birth sans drugs. i have absolutely no problem with epidurals or narcotics or whatever a woman needs to get while she's in labor. let me tell you, i have never felt so much pain- not even a tenth of the pain- as i did giving birth to little m, so if anyone needs to do anything to survive that pain, then i say go for it. once i mentioned to a friend that i was open minded going into labor about pain meds, but still going to attempt to go drug free, she said, "oh well, then you'll do the drugs for sure." little did she know that that offhanded comment made me inwardly resolute that i could go through labor without any drugs. ha- little did i know that i would want to die because it hurt so bad, but those words spurred me on....and i did it.
so yay for me! i bestow on myself a medal of awesomeness. labor sucks, no matter how you do it, and i think that every woman who has birthed a child is a rock star - drugs or no drugs. but going through labor without any pain medication it isn't something you normally brag about or broadcast, so i'm taking these few inches of blog space to celebrate. i have been reliving some of the pain through amy's labor process, and it kind of reminded me that i was proud of myself.
second, this year has for sure been a little different than i anticipated. ok, maybe really different. but, despite lots of curve balls of an assorted variety, i love being a mom. amy had her baby at the same hospital where i had little m, so as i headed back there today with m, i thought about how much this last 7 months has held. pretty incredible. i just think this little 15 pound person is hilarious and wonderful and fascinating. she can be infuriating too, and i see in her so much feistiness that i can hardly imagine her as she grows older (i think i am in trouble)...but i do love being a mom. she's kind of my favorite human besides matt.