today i am

in some ways i feel like a broken record lately. we've had a long and hard year, and as i scroll through my blog, you can tell it's been a tough time round these parts. as the week comes to a close, thought i'd reflect...

today i am...

feeling-like i need to get to the gym more. it's hard to find the time, but i always feel better after i work out and get a little alone time.

listening-to some random piped in classical music as i sit and type at peet's coffee; it's competing with the espresso machine in the background. and at home, i'm listening to little m's babbling and hoping it doesn't disappear soon before she can get implants.

watching-the dusk as it has just fallen and we are slowly moving into fall. i love when the days are long and the sun shines late, but as i look outside right now it feels very much like autumn, sans falling leaves and changing colors.

loving-the escape of reading a fluffy magazine before i fall asleep (even though i still have to finish my book for book club); the look on little m's face when she flips herself over and rocks back and forth on her hands and knees- sooo close to crawling! 

drinking-currently finishing off a nonfat latte, and earlier today xiao's blend tea. 

wondering- what will happen once obama is president; if we should fight our insurance or just wait it out; how it can possibly be november already; if i should chop my hair (but not get a mom cut); if it's time for me to be heading home

hoping- that i can figure out how to have a healthy balance between recognizing the reality of hard in our lives right now and grieving, but also having enough perspective to remember that there is a lot of joy and goodness in our life too. 

it's pretty much dark now, and i need to return to my little girl, and her gleeful rolling around the floor, and to my husband, who somehow always gets more done at home than i do.